Grains of Sand - Chapter 4 - Jiminybillybob (2024)

Ichigo tried to gain back his composure and finally stood up on his feet, still leaning on the window still behind him for support. Through his hazy vision, he could still make out some important details. First, he felt it in his body, he knew for a fact that he was not in his soul form. Was he in his gigai? Or his human body? Ichigo couldn't tell the difference. Another important fact was that he was definitely not at his home with Rukia. Let alone their home, he was not even in the Soul Society.

This bedroom, albeit foreign, was familiar to him on a personal level--the window still, the oak door, the old antique four poster bed, the almost-peeling floral wallpaper--there was no mistake, this was his old man's room in his childhood home.

Second, Ichigo was aware that his head was throbbing like hell and he felt like his body was burning up and about to burst.

And third, every little thing about waking up here was sogoddamn off.

Something terribly wrong was definitely going on.

Ichigo grabbed the scattered t-shirt laying there on one of the wooden bedposts.

Orihime was still looking frightened, still whimpering nervously, calling his name over and over again, "Ichigo-kun...?"

Which sounded weird as hell in Ichigo's ears because she had always, always been calling him "Kurosaki-kun" for years.

Ichigo completely ignored her. It was weird. It was inappropriate and so wrong as hell on so many levels--seeing her there on his old man's bed, covered from her legs to her waist by a bedsheet that smelled too much like blooming flowers for his liking.

Orihime could only watch as Ichigo wiped the sweat on his temples and brows with the t-shirt in his hand and placed the damped t-shirt on his broad shoulder as he walked away from her. He walked out of the bedroom without another word.

Orihime clutched her chest. It hurt. His extremely cold and distant demeanor.

It had always hurt ever since they got married but this morning--dawn--it hurt a lot more.

Orihime recalled these last three sleepless nights. How she wiped the sweat on his face and his body and diligently changed the damped cloths on his forehead to ease his fever like a devoted wife. How she lost sleep and weight because she was too focused on him and she kept forgetting breakfast, lunch, and dinner. How she held and kissed his burning hand, all the while hoping and praying that he would finally wake up.

And yet the moment he finally regained some consciousness, he looked at her with confusion, frustration, and near disgust in his amber eyes.

And it was not her name that he called,never her name.

It was the same name over, over, and over again. The same name he uttered even in his unconsciousness.

The ghost of his past that never left.

The one Orihime was never able to compete with.

Even until now, years--more than a decade--after their marriage.

Orihime wiped her tears and held her shaking body. It was not the right time to be jealous. She spent her lifetime living with Ichigo, being jealous of Kuchiki-san. It was not new. It was not new at all. She thought at least she had to get used to the feeling and the pain. She hadn't.

She took a deep breath and collected some courage to follow Ichigo out of their bedroom. Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard to find him. He wasn't going completely insane to storm out of their house right away like Orihime originally expected. Ichigo was there in the dining room. A half-empty glass of water was placed on the dining table. His t-shirt was still hung on his broad shoulder. He wasn't sitting though. He was standing there, leaning on the dining table, gripping hard on the edge. His head was hung low. Orihime could only watch his bare back.

"What the hell is going on?" He gruffly asked her without turning to face her. His voice was low, dark. Orihime stopped dead in her step. He sounded dangerous and scary when he was furious and Orihime badly didn't want to feel this way, but she had always been afraid of him when Ichigo was like this.

It reminded her of his hollow. The part of him she was still unable to embrace and accept. Until now.

"Ichigo-kun... you..."

It was so typical. She couldn't even form coherent sentences if he was like this. "You are home, Ichigo-kun... you..."you are safe.With me. She wanted to add but left the words unsaid, holding her tongue.

His voice was still too heavy, too husky. He almost growled. He almost didn't sound like the Ichigo-kun she knew. He didn't evenlook like the Ichigo-kun she knew; his hair was a little bit longer, his eyes even sharper, his jaws more defined.

"Iknow I am home, the question is why the hell am I here?" He asked, clearly frustrated and impatient with her.

Orihime thought she didn't deserve any of this. Her hands shook in tremors, gripping at the hem of her nightwear.

"You've been running a terribly high fever for three days, Ichigo-kun...soterrible that you lost your consciousness and I am trying to help you--trying toheal you and--"

He turned around to face her to cut her rambling off and Orihime's breath hitched. She expected to see black in his sclera and gold in his irises. But no. They were still the same amber eyes she fell in love with. And somehow it hurt her more. Way more and worse. It would be easier to pretend that it was the hollow that hurt her, not Ichigo himself.

Ichigo crossed his toned arms in front of his chest and pinched the bridge of his nose to ease the tension of the muscles on his head.

"Does Rukia even know that I am here?" He asked, his voice dangerously cold and chilling, sending shivers down Orihime's spine--but he was still not looking at her. Orihime thought he was trying to be calmer but his frustration was still palpable.

Rukia. Rukia. Rukia.It had always been Rukia. Just how many times had he mentioned the Kuchiki captain's name ever since he opened his eyes?

She trembled but Orihime was trying to be strong, even though it was as if there were an invisible knife stabbing her in the chest, "Kuchiki-san... I think Kuchiki-san knows you aresafehere, athome... Ichigo-kun..."

Ichigo finally looked up to face her. He squinted his eyes in disbelief. He was looking at Orihime as if she had grown two heads.

It was so, so unfair, Orihime thought.Hewas the one who was going crazy, nother.

He asked again, his impatience was back, even more obvious, "doesIshida even know that you are here?"

Ishida-kun...? Why did it matter? Why did he matter?

"Ishida-kun...?" She asked, voiced out loud this time. She had not mentioned his name on her lips for so long. It felt foreign. It was still too painful for her.

Ichigo looked at her--again--like she had gone crazy and grownthree heads instead of two this time.

Because yeah, in Ichigo's mind, Orihime was goingbat sh*t crazyright now.

She told him he had been having a fever for three days and she was trying to heal him. Okay, she was a healer, maybe she could help. But why here? Why here in his childhood home that Ichigo believed had been emptied for some years, with him giving up his mortal life and having a family with Rukia in Seireitei, Goat-chin living with the Shiba in Soul Society, Karin going to theShino Academy to join him and their old man in Seireitei, and Yuzu living her normal human life as a nurse in Sapporo? Why here instead of the fourth?

And why the heck was she making herself too comfortable? Sleeping in the same bed with him in her short, revealing nightwear? Calling him Ichigo-kun instead of the usual, familiar Kurosaki-kun? Holding his hand and trying to caress his cheek while he was unconscious?

Ichigo shuddered, was she playing his wife or something?

And why the hell did she start calling her own freaking husband Ishida-kun instead of the usual Uryuu-kun?

None of these made freaking sense. Ichigo was positive she had lost her mind. Or that she was possessed. There was no in between.

"Ishida-kun...?" she repeated, as if she was trying to get used to saying her own husband's name on her lips like a crazy, amnesiac woman who somehow lost her head and forgot her own husband.

"We... Ichigo-kun, you know we haven't been in contact with Ishida-kun for years..."

Yep. Ichigo clicked his tongue in utter disbelief.

Possessed.

Definitely possessed.

Ichigo had no better explanation because just what the hell was she talking about?

Orihime he knew was married to Ishida. They lived in Karakura. Ishida was a doctor at his family's hospital, Karakura Hospital, and Orihime owned a bakery. They had a son named Souken, a year older than his son, Megumi. The last time they met, Ishida told him Orihime was two months pregnant and they were expecting their second child. Which made Ichigo shudder even more. He felt sick to the stomach at the inappropriateness of this freak show. He felt nauseated with the implications of what he and Orihime did or did not do (he hoped, God he badly hoped, they didn't).

f*cking hell.

Ichigo shook his head in disbelief and let out a mocking, frustrated chuckle, starting to lose his sanity to be damned. Maybe he was the one turning crazy, "Do you even hear how ridiculous you sound, Orihime?"

Orihime's breath hitched once again. Her hands went to clutch her chest for support. Her breath was heavy as if her lungs were failing her. There was a piercing pain in her heart.

It wasn't fair. It was cruel for him to say that to her.

"I'm going back to Soul Society," he told her--firm and stern--his voice leaving no room for her to say no. "I don't understand what the hell is going on, but I'm telling Rukia."

His head was messed up. But he was going to tell her everything. He would grovel at her feet if he had to as long as he had her forgiveness for something he didn't even know he committed. All he knew was that this was wrong on so many levels that he felt guilty just being here. He would beg if he must, as long as Rukia would have him.

"I don't know about you, but you should explain to Ishida," Ichigo added. "I'm going to tell him myself, later, after I explain everything to Rukia,"

He was insane. Ichigo-kun hadlost his mind. Orihime thought. Why did he keep bringing up Kuchiki-san and Ishida-kun? As if it was a huge sin to be alone here with her--his own wife--in theirown home? As if they were cheating on Ishida-kun and Kuchiki-san? Her Ichigo-kun was crazy or possessed, there was no in between.

But his irises were amber and his scleras weren't black.

Orihime had no clue. No clue at all.

Was it delirium? Because of his high fever?

Orihime watched and stayed still in her spot as Ichigo finally put on the t-shirt on his shoulder. He moved and paced around the house in a hurry like a madman, opening every door and checking every room as if he was looking for something. Every room was empty. It was just the two of them in this house. Kazui's room was on the second floor, he didn't get to that. But again, Kazui had been on a school trip for the last three days. Orihime was somehow grateful that her son wasn't here at the moment.

"Where is my badge?" Ichigo called, still moving from room to room. He didn't expect her to know where his badge was but he had no one else to ask.

Orihime stayed still, she didn't even move an inch to help him and it made Ichigo more frustrated with her.

"Do you even remember what happened?" Orihime asked in a low voice, watching him come out of another room--Karin's and Yuzu's old room which had been turned into his working space as a translator. It seemed like he didn't even find what he was looking for.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow--he didn't hear her clearly--urging her to continue but also walked past her with the same carelessness as before. He went to their (his old man's) room now.

"Do you even know what happened to you... Ichigo-kun?" Orihime asked, louder and even braver this time like she was back to the girl Tatsuki-chan always taught her to be. It made him come out from their bedroom and stopped looking for whatever he was looking for.

Orihime bravely looked him in the eyes and walked towards him (step by step, step by step--it didn't matter that her legs were shaking).

"Urahara-san brought you home to me three days ago in the middle of the night. With not many words uttered... no explanation of why... your reiatsu was severely depleted... and I was left alone to figure out, to take care of you, having no clue what to do with you... not knowing if you were ever going to wake up..." she tried so hard to sound strong but her eyes were glassy and some stubborn tears threatened to fall no matter how hard she was trying to hold them.

"Now, stop with Kuchiki-san this and Kuchiki-san that,please...Ichigo-kun, I'mbeggingyou..." Orihime was full blown crying now and she didn't care, "do you even bother to explain to me what happened to you... Ichigo-kun? Don't you think,at the very least, I deserve to know...?"

Ichigo's eyes widened.

What.

There was a spin of memories, played messily in his head.

Urahara? He didn't remember seeing his first mentor recently. Urahara always stayed in the Living World. Ichigo had not made a trip to the Living World for a while as long as he could remember.

Then everything came in flashes in his head and vision.

Every memory.

Every picture.

Flash by flash.

He remembered sensing the especially unusually strong and dark energy detected in the Fugai--southern district of Rukongai. He remembered the meetings he had with the members of The Order of Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto; the order built in the name of the passing soutaichou after the end of the thousand-year blood war with its sole and main purpose to fight life and death against any remaining sternritters, the possibilities of the rise of Wandenreich, and ultimately the return of Yhwach, with Ichigo being their leader from the Shinigami side alongside with Uryuu Ishida from the quincy counterpart. They decided some would have to go on the mission that night--Ikkaku, Kenpachi, Renji, Byakuya, Soi Fon, Yoruichi, Isshin, led by Ichigo himself. He remembered Rukia strongly disagreed on his departure that night. He remembered the dark and eerie district. He remembered the team going on separate ways--

Renji, Byakuya, and him.

He remembered--

The shadow of that bastard.

That f*cking bastard that had been haunting his happiness and everyone dearest to him for years.

f*ck.

f*ck. f*cking f*ck.

"f*ck!" Ichigo cursed out loud, fully coming in his senses, voice full of fury. Orihime watched as the color of blood drain from Ichigo's face as he went even crazier, looking around for his badge like a madman, "where the f*ck is my badge?!" he growled in anger, rummaging their stuff in the bedroom. Panic washed over him like they were all in mortal danger.

Orihime trembled in fear. It was still Ichigo-kun. It was still him--not his hollow--but he looked so dangerous like he was about to risk it all, to demolish anything standing in his way, tokill.

"Ichigo-kun... please...stop..." it pained her, watching him like this. It took Orihime back to the memories when they were teenagers, 17 at most, her crying in front of his raging hollow against Ulquiorra. Her being unable to do anything to stop him because just like it had always been, he had never listened to her. Orihime's voice had always meant nothing to him and did nothing to his heart, unlike her voice.

"Goddamnit!" Ichigo stormed out of the bedroom and was about to storm out of their house too.

Ichigo completely lost it.

His mind was all over the place.

That bastard. That f*cking bastard.

Of course that bastard had everything to do with this sick, twisted fiasco.

What happened after that? Were Byakuya, Renji, his dad, all the members that went on the mission that night safe? Where was Rukia? Was she safe? How was his witty son Megumi? How was his dear baby Sachi? Were his beloved wife and children that he had been--crazily, over protectively--trying to protect all this time, safe and sound?

He needed to find them. He needed to make sure that they were safe. He needed to get away from here. He would tear the whole world down if he had to. He had not fought for them--Rukia and their little family--for years only to lose her--to have her taken away from him. Not now, not after all these years, after all he sacrificed and fought for, not ever.

Ichigo ran to the doorway. He made no pause to open the door and--

"Looking for this, Kurosaki-kun...?"

It was Urahara.

Standing there in his usual casual demeanor on their doorstep. In his right hand was the Substitute Shinigami badge Ichigo had been crazily looking for. In his left hand was the famous umbrella-looking sword, Benihime.

Tilting his funny stripedhat, Urahara smirked under the shadows, "Or should I call you...Kurosaki-f*ckutaichou?"